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Five Tips for Making Shared Custody a Success

Shared custody can be a blessing in disguise for many parents trying to make their divorce or separation work for them and their children. It can also be a challenge sharing custody with the other parent. Parents have trouble being away from their children when they are at school. Knowing their kids are with the other parent, possibly having fun, can be an emotional rollercoaster. This is why shared custody can be so difficult. Despite this, there are ways you can make it a success, and we will present five tips in today’s post.

Everything Has to be About the Children

Your divorce has been finalized. You have sold the marital home. The assets have been divided. You are now living on your own. Since all of this is now complete, everything has to be about your children moving forward. It is that simple. The focus has to be on your children at all times. This will make a shared custody arrangement successful. You cannot make this arrangement about you, your former spouse, the marriage, the divorce, or any of the problems you had in the past.

Make Realistic Schedules

One of the most important tips you need to follow is to make a realistic schedule. Do not commit to days and times with your children if you cannot follow through on those commitments. You will only disappoint yourself and your children. It might be best to sit down with your former spouse and put together a calendar that everyone can commit to, including activities and appointments for your children.

Being a Bad Spouse Does Not Signal a Bad Parent

You need to get it out of your head that because your former spouse was bad at the relationship, he or she will also be a bad parent. These two things are not necessarily related. You might have had the worst marriage on the planet, but it does not mean that your children will have a bad time with their other parent. You must stop thinking like this and begin looking at the other parent as a solid parent who has the best interests of your children at heart, just like you do.

Your Children Need to be Heard

Your children need to be heard and heard often. They will have a lot of questions, comments, and other issues from the divorce and from the custody arrangement. They might even have issues with the custody arrangement being a shared one.

They might not know how it is going to work. Let your children be heard whenever they have questions or comments about what is happening in your life as a family.

Review and Make Adjustments

Review the agreement every so often and make any necessary adjustments. As your kids get older, you need to rethink the current schedule. As they move grades in school, their activities will change. Maybe your work schedule or your former spouse’s work schedule has changed. Take all of this into account and make adjustments to the schedule.

Now that you know how to make shared custody a success, you can begin implementing some of these tips. Contact Moen Sheehan Meyer, Ltd. today to schedule a consultation about your custody arrangement.

Published September 10, 2018
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